Friday, October 12, 2012

Her Heart

There are times when certain circumstances strike our hearts. If you remember I wrote a poem back in March about eighteen month old Saoirse Fitzgerald, who died from Neuroblastoma, Stage 4 Cancer (if you haven't gotten a chance to read the poem, you can find it here). It struck my heart so hard and I just remember crying. 

Yesterday night, I read of a young girl named Amanda Todd, who had taken her own life because she was a victim of non-stop bullying (whether it be at her school or on the internet)  just five weeks after posting a pleading video on YouTube.

If you haven't watched the video, I urge you to do so. Know the signs of severe depression & self-harm-- and if you or anyone you know is being bullied, seek help immediately! 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Learning to Live: Everything In Between

Started a new story. . . got addicted to LOST and then this Desmond/Penny story started to form and wouldn't let go until I started writing it. 

Desmond/Penny Soundtrack

I'm a little late to the game of watching LOST, but ever since I have started watching: I've fallen in love with the romantic chemistry between Desmond and Penny.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Cal/Gillian Soundtrack (Lie To Me) *UPDATED

This Callian soundtrack is for all my #teamkelli and #lietome friends :) I'll occasionally update this every once in awhile.

Last updated on 3/21/13

State of Grace (Common Law)

This story has been plaguing me for the last couple weeks. I haven't been able to write anything else, and wasn't be able to finish until this morning and until after I watched the season finale. This is kind of an alternative scene to the episode, "Gun!"

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Daily Inspiration #70

The Great Escape: Boundaries

As we walked into the house, I sighed in relief. It felt so good to be home, but at the same time I was looking forward to a good night’s sleep. Between the necessary checkups from the nurses, having a fever and food poisoning—were just some of the reasons that I was exhausted in the first place.

Of course, I was also told that I took on too much. I never believed it to be true, until this moment. When I was surrounded by friends, and realized that never accepting second best wasn’t always the greatest option.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Daily Inspiration #69

The Great Escape: Hope

The anti-nausea medicine seemed to work its magic. I felt so much better than the last day or so. I was able to keep down more than just liquids, and the occasional bits of food. Kevin arrived later in the afternoon with a bag, and I changed into something more comfortable: a red shirt and jeans.

I was tolerating all the fluids; my fever had finally broken during the night. For lunch I was able to keep down some broth and applesauce, and because I had been vomiting and hadn’t eaten a whole lot of food for the past couple days, I was still feeling slightly weak as I got up and dug through the bag on the floor.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Broken Promises

Don’t say the words of the broken promises,
for they are all a lie that sinks deep into the
heart. Pulling us down, like a thick vine that
wraps around our bodies and cuts off the
oxygen that sustains the need for
breathing.

So in that case, maybe we shouldn’t say
anything at all. For the words that come out
seem to be drenched in poison. They are
unbelievable and turn into nothing that we
can hold onto, or even keep safe.

Trials and Tribulations

Your trials and tribulations come marching back;
sometimes I wonder why they can’t turn to dust.

You are broken, but I am broken too—
when every time I keep thinking that I’m losing you.

Orange Blossom Honey

Orange blossom honey, you remind me of summer—
beautiful blue skies and warm weather.
Hints of oranges are bitter and sweet;
just like a summer’s glorious treat.

Blossoms that bloom on every tree when the air warms up.
Bees buzzing in their hives, while making honey—
are the scents that linger and caresses my skin.

Orange blossom honey, spring has just begun—
let the hibernation fully end.
Keep bringing the sunshine until summer
comes around—in the form of sweet smelling lotion—
that’s just around the bend.

In My Room

I’d rather get lost in a messy room
than keep it tidy like you assume I should.

This is my safe place, the only place that I can be alone:
where I can allow my imagination to freely roam.
These walls can always transport me to a better place
to a different world, to a friendly face.

Where so many words float invisibly in the air—
yet I know they’ll always be there.
Because in my room, is somewhere deep inside,
where I keep my emotions to hide. 

Taking It All Away

It frustrates me when you don’t listen
and turn the other cheek.
When you only hear what you’re saying—
Not giving me the chance to speak.

When nothing of me is sacred,
And you end up taking it all away—
Without asking me if you can,
and yet I don’t have a say.
Will I turn blue before you see what
I’m up against each day?

Daily Inspiration #68

Source: flickr.com via Pinterest

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Great Escape: Care

I heard the leaves crunching under their feet as they walked through the backyard. I knew that it was only seconds before they discovered where I was, so I turned around and walked back towards them.

I felt significantly better, but still slightly unsteady. I thought of what to tell them, but came up with nothing. Too late to turn around, and I hoped that it wasn’t obvious that I was not feeling well, not drunk.

“Claudia Joy.” I greeted, looking around the house. “Was that Denise I just heard?”

“Yeah.” In quick strides, Denise appeared beside her as they shared a look. It wasn’t hard to tell what they were thinking either. “We missed you at the meeting.”

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Great Escape: Absence

[Life goes on. It gets so heavy, the wheel breaks the butterfly.]

I thought about what I had confessed this afternoon, and wondered how quickly I could unravel. How quickly I could calm the urge to numb out the anger, with pills that I no longer had.  

As I pushed the wine onto the counter, it sloshed some, but I didn’t stop to clean it up. Instead I walked upstairs, and dug through my purse. When I found the container of tic tacs, I realized that it wouldn’t be as satisfying when I popped a couple into my mouth, but did so anyway and walked into the bathroom.

The Great Escape: Scars

{Look in these eyes; we know each other like our own skin and bones. We know the scars, how they got where they are, in places no else knows.}  

After the confession, I composed myself and began piling everything onto the platter for an easy clean up. My first thought being to wash everything, but I only ended up pushing everything onto the counter and walking back into the living room.  

When I sat down on the couch with a sigh of relief, I felt a bubble of emotion come to the surface. They were no longer tears of sadness, but of relief that somebody else knew my secret.

Monday, May 21, 2012

E is for Edith

A little over a year later, my sister Edith was born. Unlike my brothers who I knew could probably fend for themselves, I felt a certain pride and protection over this little girl: my sister—a fair tempered little girl, who’s brown hair stuck up all over the place.

By this time, my mom had quit her job. With four children under the age of four, she considered that it was better to be at home. Especially since Braxton would soon be starting Pre-K. It was hard to think that my oldest little brother would soon be in Kindergarten.  

The Great Escape: Confessions

How does anyone deal with a great deal of anxiety, but in their own way?

For me I could no longer bottle up any of my anxiety any longer. Instead of seeing a good therapist, I was able to get a prescription. It was all too easy, and I certainly didn’t have to fake any of it because I was living in the emotion. At the same time, that prescription was a way to numb all the pressure that I was under. I guess I could call it: the great escape.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I Feel. . .

...void of energy.

.... like I've had a rough couple of days.

...accomplished for finishing two writing pieces.

...like going to bed. Right now :(

...grumpy

... and sick

CAN WE START THIS WEEK AGAIN?
...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Daily Inspiration #62

Army Wives: Hope Drawn Near

With the unexpected deployment last week, there were no words that couldn’t have been expressed: other than in a kiss of love and devotion; his hand that lingered on my swelling belly. And despite being about four weeks away from delivering our first child, all I could think about was him coming back home to us.

As usual, he couldn’t tell me how long they were going to be deployed or where they were going, so I always knew there was a remote possibility that I would go into labor before he came home. But as the days passed by and the weather grew stormier, with the possibility of a few minor storms—nothing could have prepared me for a tornado.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Daily Inspiration #61

Army Wives: Welcome, to My Perfect Life!

Ah! My first shot at writing for the TV show, Army Wives. I love the character Kelli Williams has as Jackie Clark :) The rest of this oneshot should be pretty self-explanatory. Perhaps now I can get back to writing ehem...other things.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Daily Inspiration #60

May I: A Long Story

Gillian had made it as far as the couch, where she put everything. The ride home was barely remembered as she walked up the stairs and collapsed on the bed. As soon she closed her eyes, she was out.

When she finally woke, it was hours later and she felt dazed for the longest time. It took her awhile to remember what had happened at the hospital, but she was so tired that the kiss that Cal gave didn’t even faze her—now she was thinking about it.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Daily Inspiration #59

May I: Body Language

“Gillian.” Angelica stopped filing some papers in the cabinet as she approached the pediatric desk. “I heard what happened. How are you doing?”

“I’m tired, but good. I thought I would check up on Sophie before I left.”

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

"May I" Character List

As an author, I didn't realize how many characters I've made up in my story "May I". So here are a handful of occurring names, and what chapters they've appeared in. Take a look :) P.S. I'll most likely be updating this list every once in awhile as needed. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Daily Inspiration #58

May I: Crash Pt II

Feeling a cold chill move through her entire body, she watched in horror at the car engulfed in flames and then exploded. All she could think about was how she had left him there, trapped in his seat.

Instinctively, she kept her body over the little girl’s in protection, as a part of Cal’s car flew up in the air, landing on the hood of the car. She could feel the little girl shaking, grasping to her teddy bear and blanket.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

May I: Crash Pt I

The ride back over to the hospital was pretty quiet; the light reflecting over his face as he drove. At one point, he looked over at her. “Is there something on my face that you’re not telling me about?”

“No.” Gillian went to glancing back out the window, before changing her mind to stay quiet. “Platonic love, Cal?”

“It’s what you would have wanted me to say, isn’t it?”

“We both know that it isn’t true.”

“So now you’re admitting it—that we’re in love?”

“I didn’t say that I admitted it.” The light turned green and he stepped on the gas pedal to continue through the intersection, but as he was getting ready to say something else—there was a shattering of glass as the car landed on its side.

Friday, April 13, 2012

D is For Devin

“Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Caleb. Happy birthday to you.”  Today, we celebrated my little brother’s second birthday. Four days prior to his, we celebrated my twelfth birthday.

I was now in seventh grade, and clearly outnumbered by boys—besides smitten by one in general. Patrick Delance was my first crush. He had the dreamiest green eyes, and I couldn’t help but steal glances at him whenever I could. It was hard knowing that he probably had no idea who I was, or that he had girls on every side of him.

Daily Inspiration #57

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Time Is the Essence

I for one, would rather like to skip the rest of the weekend to see this episode, "Time is of the Essence". This season of "Make It Or Break It" is possibly going to be a killer. I've read some things spoilers...including these videos, because what has been going on for the first couple weeks...are finally getting to me.

If you don't want to watch (or don't watch MIOBI), then don't press "read more". If you do, then I won't spoil you...if you don't want to be.

SOURCE: Spoilers Guide

C is for Caleb

By the time that Braxton was crawling, mom was pregnant again. She told me that they weren’t expecting to be pregnant again so soon, but it happened. And since I had already gotten a brother, I hopefully wished for a sister.

However, when I went with mom and dad to the ultrasound around the fourth month, we found out that mom was going to have another little boy. I was a little hesitant at first, but as the months went by, I became a little more okay with the idea of having another little boy around the house.   

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Daily Inspiration #55

B is For Braxton

It wasn’t until I was much older, that I realized the true miracle of how my mother had gotten pregnant again. My mom and dad had signed up for an experimental drug, knowing that this could be their last chance to have another child. Little did they know what they would be signing up for. 

My mom started taking the drug, and a little over two months after I had dropped the subtle hints of wanting a sibling, I was sitting back at the table; with my parents on one side—and me on other.

Daily Inspiration #54

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A is for Ashlynn

Doing my own version of the A-Z challenge. If you have no idea what that is--and think that I'm just talking crazy--go here, Remember, it's not too late to join in...I'm well aware that I'm a little behind on this. We'll be on D tomorrow, but this is my challenge for the month, that I'm going to try and get done by the end of it.

If you haven't already seen the post and the link from earlier, that was a little sneak peek of my "A" story. Now I'm going to post the whole version here:

The Grey House


More about this house here, and why I'm writing about it.

Daily Inspiration #53