Monday, February 11, 2013

Hugs All Around


        thesims3official:

slamasim:

♥♥

Awww this warms my heart!

Hugs all around :) 
Picture originally from here

I came across this picture on Tumblr tonight, and found that it fits my mood perfectly--like I can't get enough hugs for the sadness that I'm feeling. If you've been following me on twitter, you'll know just what I'm talking about in some regards.

Last Friday I received some bad news, and ever since then I've felt like a HUGE rock has hit me and torn me in two, and then I crawled underneath that rock and have been there ever since. Inside I've felt like this... with the lack of tears (I've really only cried twice since then) and can't seem to wrap my head around it.






 Fanart by Me (ShapedChocolate)

It's hard to imagine how one sudden bit of news can rock your world, especially when it's about a family member who you've been around every day. Not just any family member but your dog that you brought home to live with you--so this moment seems even more mind boggling than usual. And yet...it never gets an easier to deal with.

You see, what I'm trying to say... is my dog was acting unusual (with some other details that I'll spare you, because I really don't feel like explaining everything) so we took him to the doctor and they found a mass on his spleen. So the doctor wanted him to have an ultrasound, so we got him in on Friday. The news was that he had cancer in not just his spleen, but possibly his colon as well. The doctor gave him about 2-6 months to live, but that's just an estimate.

Sadly, I've been through this all before about four years ago, when I lost my last dog. I've come to the conclusion that the unknown time that we have left, is not my friend, and will never be under any circumstances. I'd rather know the exact amount of time that we have left with him than only an estimate.

Not knowing drove me crazy, and took a deep toll on my body the last time around. I'm doing everything that I can to avoid that. I appreciate all those who have reached out to me if I want to talk, but I'm not doing a lot of talking at the moment. I'm not sure that I'm going to for a long time to come. 

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