I'm Still Here: The Middle

Both sat in silence, again.

This gave Megan a chance to wonder what path she was going down. There was one way that made the corner of her lips turn up in a smile as they drove to the airport. And with that she found that he was always there… waiting, always willing to be there for him. He had given her father a chance…and so had she.

The other path, led her to no end. Would she come back from New York and find that everything had changed more than it had? To come back again and find that everything had gone on regardless as if she had been there or not? Blinking, she focused on the road in front of her. Instead her thoughts took sight on something she hadn't seen since she had returned from assignment…the concern on Don's face as her hand shook, the paleness in her face. David's recognition of her backing out, hardly saying a word and her departing quickly.

They would never know how deep inside that she wished that she could tell them, or how equally she felt that she couldn't. Not even Larry.

Her fear deep inside was that of what she had dealt with alone for the past few months since returning. Fears that were like nightmares— bits and pieces that jogged her memory of constant torture. Her mouth slacked, but she tried to not show the shock and fear still there because of the torture and the constant nightmares that kept her awake…screams that ensued because of it. Echoes of her own as she jolted in bed; remnant of cries of torture from her interrogation.

Whenever she heard screaming, she was taken right back there. Day after day, in a cold dark room as she sat bitterly, her chair turned backwards with her arms perched up on the backing with an adamant frown of persistence etched into her expression. Each individual that walked through that little dark room was changed, maybe even scarred. Just like her.

Don…David…Colby…Charlie….Amita…Larry, they would only see the half of it. But they wouldn't see the impatience…not the frustration….sadness, nor how every day that she stepped back into the office she felt ashamed of what she had been forced to do.

They just saw the odds and ends.

Exhaling softly, she focused on the road ahead, driving forward. From the corner of her eye she noticed him admiring the scenery.

"The buildings here are remarkably fascinating, with their height and physique." He paused; she smiled and turned her eyes back to the road. Pushing softly on the brake she looked up through the windshield towards a beautiful building.

"Looks like the building my father took my three sisters and me when I was about eight. In fact I'm pretty sure we drove him crazy." Moving her index finger in an up and down motion, she kept one eye on the light. "Running up and down the steps and chasing after one another, while he was trying to go over the finishing touches to what would make him a successful businessman."

He laughed, but scrutinized her expression. "Oh the days of childhood." He remarked quietly, turning towards her. "You know just like those buildings you're remarkable. I wish you could have seen the way you look when you were talking to Lindsey…you looked so comfortable, nothing that I've seen when you're at the office."

Megan exhaled as she pushed her fingers through her hair. Quietly she contemplated, noticing that things in the office had an underlying tenseness, even for its own good. "You know at times I wish I had never gone….that Colby had never been arrested, that the team wasn't falling apart, but it feels like it's out of my control."

He covered his hand over hers, gaining her attention. "I've never been good at something like this, but what happened was clearly not your fault. Whatever happened while you were gone, remember you saved a life."

He had a point. They had all saved Colby, despite his betrayal. But that still didn't kill the disappointment…sadness… anger.

Stifling another yawn, she realized that still despite making some amends with her father; she couldn't sleep without waking up several times, making her feel more worn than the day before. She just never imagined herself admitting it, to no one in particular.

Before she knew it they were parking in the short term lot and making their way around to the trunk of the car. He took out his suitcase and she closed the trunk after him and they strode side by side into the airport. Fortunately they had a few minutes to spend together.

"Find out anything interesting while talking to my father?" She asked with a small hesitant smile, their hands interlacing together as they walked.

"You've been thinking about this the whole time we were driving here?" He inquired, clearly amused. Actually, he knew her too well.

She gave a short nod. In the back of her mind the thought had always been there. And she had chosen to stay outside with Lindsey for an hour before Larry and her father had dismissed from their talking, and from her peeking through the window—her father and Larry had really hit it off."

"Yeah, there's something that I've needed to talk to you about that." Suddenly he became hesitant, his grip tightening. His tone underlined over the top of concern. She furrowed her eyebrow, trying not to look too conspicuous as they sat on a bench. "And I've been meaning to give you this, at the right time." He shrugged, "Well there really isn't a great time-" Tracing a faint smile on her lips she could tell that he was about to go off on a ramble, but then he trailed.

Her smile widened as her lips collided with his. He was equally stunned as she was… and somehow she knew in some fashion as they both straightened up and he undid his suitcase quickly with two echoed clicks. Reaching in he rustled through his suitcase, keeping it closed with his other hand, until he had closed his fist and pulled it out, grasping tightly to something in the process as he carefully locked his suitcase back up and turned stiffly towards her.

"I've been thinking….actually what I wanted to ask you if you would spend the rest of your life with me." His words came out more in a jumble, but he looked relieved at the sudden revelation.

Her eyes lit up, widened, her mouth crafting into a careful expression. Of course she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Furrowing her brow, she went back to everything that he had told her, about their discussion of children and how she was so good with them. And then she realized the sacrifice, surging through him.

She searched him for a moment more, as long as she could. Her voice was soft, breaking. Barely audible. "Yes."