May I: Body Language

“Gillian.” Angelica stopped filing some papers in the cabinet as she approached the pediatric desk. “I heard what happened. How are you doing?”

“I’m tired, but good. I thought I would check up on Sophie before I left.”

 

“Sure. Just left me file this one thing—and will come and I fill you in on everything that has happened. “She dropped the paper in, and locked the cabinet. She walked around the desk; let the other nurse know where she was going, and they began walking down the hall. When they reached the room, she had a rather large smile on her face.

Another nurse who was sitting in the room nodded her greetings, before getting up and leaving. Angelica walked over to the crib and picked Sophie up. “You gave your mother quite a scare, little one.”

Sophie gave her a curious stare, and then pointed at Gillian. “Mama?”

“That’s your mommy, alright.” Angelica gestured over to the chair. “Why don’t you go sit in that chair and I’ll bring her to you.”

Wearily, Gillian turned and sat in the chair. She let her eyes close, while listening to the interaction between Sophie and Angelica across the room. There were a few rustling noises, and then Sophie’s voice. “Mama, wake?”

“…why don’t you give this to her.” Angelica whispered, handing something to Sophie.

Slapping her knee, Sophie smiled up at Gillian as she opened her eyes. In her hand, she was grasping a red sucker that said “congrats”.

Angelica explained, digging around in the drawer. “They’re just some of our extra suckers that we carry here on the Pediatric floor.”

“Suceer?” Sophie repeated, flinging it into her lap; pouting out her bottom lip. “Can I have?”

 Laughing, Angelica chimed in. “It looks like you’re in for some trouble with this one.” At that, there was a knock on the door; Corbin peered in.

“Are we interrupting?”

Gillian shook her head, and the door opened further. “No, come in.”

“Gillian, I would like you to meet Ashley Petelson: Sophie’s social worker.”

Ashley stepped in; her brown eyes suddenly lighting up with her smile. “It’s nice to finally put a face to a name.” She held out her hand; her white watch peeking out under her red laced shirt. “Ava named you the sole guardian over her only daughter: Sophie Cassidy Keller. Is that information correct?”

“Yes.” Sophie and Gillian shared a mutual look of curiosity. “What’s this about?”

“I have some papers that you might want to look over, if you agree to be her guardian.” Reaching into the file, she handed the papers to her. Gillian sat there for a moment, letting the words sink in. She looked up a few seconds later, and Ashley gave her a reassuring smile, and a subtle nod to let her know that what Gillian was thinking was correct.

Taking the papers, Gillian felt a prick of tears welling up in her eyes. She looked over every word, then at Sophie, whose life was going to change forever when she signed that paper. And yet at the same time, it quelled all of Gillian’s fears of losing her forever.

Finally.

Corbin clicked his pen and handed it over; his steely blue eyes were glistening as she gave him an appreciative glance. She signed slowly, in order to keep her hand from shaking too much—before handing back the paperwork and pen to their rightful owners.  

Then he did something unexpected . . . blowing into a party favor that he had pulled out of his pocket, as Ashley filed away the papers. Sophie laughed loudly—not understanding the full meaning of this moment—which made everyone else laugh too.

They hardly noticed the door opening, until Angelica had clasped her hands together and they watched as Cal came in, wheeled in by one of the nurses.

Gillian’s eyes lit up; just moments before the thought of not having him beside her was a little too much for a monumental moment. The last time she had heard, he had been in surgery and hadn’t woken up just yet.

“Emily sends her regards of not being here.” Was how he greeted her, and with that sideways grin that she had always secretly loved. She playfully swatted his shoulder, as he leaned in to kiss her.  When they came up for a breath, she didn’t pull away. “I think I’m in love with you.” He whispered words only she could hear, but it was apparent by their body language they needed space. Everyone cleared the room and left them alone. She searched his eyes, and it was clear as day that he was telling the truth. “I’ve always been in love with you.”

“Cal—” Her words no longer held warning, at his somewhat almost drunken confession. Although he wasn’t drunk, it felt like it as the rest of the medicine coursed through his veins. She was staring at him with sudden intensity that caused him to waver. Her expression was full of hurt, want, fear, and sadness. “You okay?”

He felt a chill run through his body, as her hand rested in the crook of his neck. There was a tangible hint of smoke and apples; made him look her over and make sure she was really there. In fact, it wasn’t really surprising after all that she had been through, that she was one tough woman. And that made her more than just a business partner, but his hero.

When he looked up, she was still glancing over at him as he nodded. He could read it on her face that she needed to hear it: the truth instead of the lies. “I’m in a bit of pain.”

She tilted her head, somewhat in surprise and recognition at his confession. “You talked one of the nurses to bring you up here, didn’t you?”

“Guilty as charged.” He leaned back; wincing slightly as he grasped the front wheel of the chair. She stood up immediately, taking off her sling and stuffing it into her purse. She kissed the top of Sophie’s head, and whispered something to the little girl. “You can’t keep secrets, you know.” She smiled and stood, not blinking. “Okay, now you’re just plain scaring me.”

“You did scare me.” She emphasized on the word “did”, as she began wheeling him out of the room with a certain ease that one shouldn’t have after getting in a car accident. In his fuzzy mind—he figured she had fared better than he had.

“So you told me yesterday. My head is just a little rattled . . . that’s all.” A pause as they reached the elevators; he craned his head back. “I don’t suppose you could get me out of here.”

As she pushed the down button, she gave him a pointed, but humored look. “It’s a hospital, Cal. . . not a psych ward.”

“I know that. But you being Houdini and everything—” He elaborated, trailing off in his own thoughts.  She gave a dry laugh, as a few people emptied from the elevator and they stepped in.

When she came out of his room almost fifteen minutes later, she ran into Corbin and he briefly told her about Ava’s funeral on Monday. It was her choice if she wanted to go or not. And then she caught a cab, ready to be home.

But as she was going past a particular street, she was prompted to stop at a white painted house. A house that Gillian had never been in before in her life and now had a connection to it. And if this house was any solace, then it would probably be the only glance at how Sophie had been raised.

Having grabbed a second wind, she stepped out of the cab; walked down the sidewalk and unlocked the door. As she walked along the tile floor, she noticed little cracks here and there and along the ceiling.

She passed a small living room, which held a worn green couch, and a wooden bookcase. A little further and she passed an open kitchen that had a booster placed on one of the three chairs at the table. A purple floppy bunny had taken the place of the child who was supposed to sit there.

Fingering the softness of the bunny, Gillian made a mental note to take both the bunny and the booster chair with her as she walked down the hall. Sophie’s room wasn’t hard to find, and it was clear that her room was the most well kept room in the house.

A handful of stuffed animals were at the end of her white and pink flowered comforter. Her closet door was open:  filled with a stack of books to the side, along with at least five different pairs of shoes. Above there were a few coats and some dresses hung up.

All of that didn’t seem to matter when she saw picture on the dresser. It was of her and Sophie, and had been taken at the hospital by one of the nurses. Ava hadn’t been lying when she had confessed that she had never let Sophie forget her, but at the time Gillian had felt particularly numb at that can of worms being opened again.