I'm Still Here: Conclusions

When she had finally got home, she unwrapped her scarf and closed the door. Her hand went over the light on the stand. As she turned the knob the room lit up, she exhaled seeing the suitcase that she had placed there earlier that morning. Shaking her coat off, she placed her coat in the closet and walked up the stairs. It was already well past midnight now and she was well past exhausted.

Walking down the hall, she reached her bedroom—the door creaking as she entered. A small lamp on her nightstand glowed faintly beside her clock. And the last thing she remembered was her setting her alarm, lying down on her bed, and then she was out.

It almost seems too soon when four hours later her alarm graces the early morning. Her hand aimlessly hits the snooze button and a few moments later she forces herself up. The semi light but darkened sky creeps through the frame of her blinds as she throws back her covers and she stands up and stretches.

She knows that she's going to need some coffee if she's going to function on what would probably be the third day of lack of sleep. So she makes her way downstairs she takes all the necessary steps to making coffee and hurried back upstairs to the bathroom where she turns on the water to the shower, letting it run until it got to the right temperature.

Although she doesn't rush it, she slowly steps in and lets the water run over her to wake her up. After about fifteen minutes she steps out, places her robe on and runs her hand through her hair. Her head aches slightly as she makes her way downstairs; the smell of warm coffee growing as she finally enters the kitchen.

The rich aroma steams out as she poured herself a cup, and replaced the pot back in the cradle before taking a sip from her cup with her hand wrapped around the white colored handle. Her head momentarily pounded less as she held tightly to the cup, her back against the counter as her thoughts overtook her before she quietly drifted back up the stairs, turning on the stereo with her free hand; music beginning to pour through the silence as 

she walked down the hall and closed the door to the bathroom.

Placing the cup on the counter she turned the hair dryer on the lowest volume, only at first, then pushed it up a bit after a few minutes until her hair was partially dry and carefully she balanced plugging and turning on her curling iron to heat up as she finished drying her hair. The music echoed throughout, its rhythm beating through the loud sound of the hairdryer.

Just like she focused on a case, she kept her mind on Larry. The way that he had offered to go with her for a couple of days to keep her company. The way his lips would curl up in the smile that she loved when she met him at the airport, and the way they sat together and walked as they waited for their departure.

She couldn't help but be glad that she wasn't going alone. But she would also need her own time to reach out and find her sanity; the resentment and confusion she felt with her father. Words that she had to think about saying when she you see and talk to someone that you haven't done so in ten years. No, nothing would be easy about this. But if she didn't do something now, she would always be left wondering how things could have been and if they could have changed for the better before things between them became something too late.

And now she could only hope for the best. She wouldn't exactly be disappointed if things between them didn't go well. But at least after this she would be able to go on with her life without feeling that void that she had felt for years, the one that was deepening and rooting to the satisfaction and conclusion of her reasoning of leaving New York when she had settled in LA.

As soon as she had dressed, put on her makeup and curled her hair, she unplugged the iron and put on her coat. From the top of the stairs she took in a deep breath as she adjusted her coat. It was all too soon when she had reached the bottom and had picked up her suitcase that seemed all too heavy. Now all she had to do was convince herself that what she was doing was for the best and she before she knew it, she would be back in no time.