May I: Dreams

She found herself running down a dark alley, kind of similar to the place she had been attacked. Except she was the one running down the alley after an unknown man, not the other way around. In fact, she knew that feeling that was in the pit of her stomach: it was the mother’s instinct kicking in fully when she saw Sophie peering over his shoulders wailing.

The sight of her daughter, only made her run faster--the adrenaline coursing through her veins on the same beat as her feet pounding against the asphalt. Thump, thump, thump.  Both were deafening in her ears, the closer she got to him.

Yet oddly enough, all she could hear was her daughter’s cry—and then there was nothing as they rounded the corner of the alley. Gill found that she was standing there all alone, but more of a familiar setting this time.

This time as she looked back, she found that she was staring right at the hooded person who had knocked her to the ground a few days ago. He wore no mask that would hide his expression; instead she found that his lips held a menacing smile.

Seeing his face clearly for the first time, truly sent chills down her spine. She found that she could not move or run away from him, despite how much she tried to pull away from the hands that grasped around her body and pulled her closer.

Her whole body emitted a shiver from the cold wind that had started to blow fiercely; so much that she wished the wind would blow the man away. Gil could feel the coldness of his hands reaching out to her as she closed her eyes. The wind began to blow and she wished that he wouldn’t be there when she opened them.

There was a brief pause where everything stood still, and the coldness she felt that had swept over her and had made her body frozen, she felt warmth replace that; curiosity forcing her to open her eyes and look.

What she saw made her eyes well up with tears that ran down her cheeks. Her daughter was sitting there and reflecting just as much curiosity as Gill was feeling right now. The shock of the moment faded and all she wanted to do was scoop up her little girl and hold her until there was no tomorrow.

Of course that wasn’t true: the no tomorrow. She somehow understood that this was just a dream, and that even if she wanted it---this moment wouldn’t last forever as she picked her daughter up off the dirty asphalt and hugged her tightly.

“I’m so glad you’re safe.” Gill whispered in her daughter’s ear. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you ever again—I promise.” The toddler still said nothing, but did not appear to be shaken in any form like she was.

Gil held her out to examine and couldn’t help smiling. Her daughter was beautiful, with rounded cheeks that held smudges of dirt. Her eyes were bright; beautiful, brown ringlets that hung over her eyes.

The little girl surprised her, uttering the words she thought she would never hear again. “Mama?”

Choking softly, Gill took a good look at her daughter, and then proceeded to hug her tightly once more before the time was gone. “Sophie.” A tear ran down her cheek: it was both happiness and sorrow that her words offered.

And then there was nothing as her dream slowly faded back into reality.

---

Gill opened her eyes slowly.  Her vision blurred from tears that had been running down her cheeks.  She swiped those tears as she sat there in her chair, feeling numb and cold.

Numb, because it had been so real. Her daughter had been there and had comfortably been sitting in her arms; and the latter part of cold because she had fallen asleep in her chair—feeling empty because her daughter was no longer there with her, like in the dream she had just moments ago.

It had felt so real.

But as she turned her chair around to see the paperwork on her usually clean desk—she felt determined to push the feelings back. Running her finger underneath her eyes, she got all the mascara that might have run down while crying in her dream, and she set off to work.

Besides the one case that they were working on, it was an unusually quiet night. A time that she could reflect more on her work, instead of her focusing on her broken life.

Opening the first folder, she began reading over the information. She filled in the blanks and continued on. And when she was just about to close the last folder, Cal knocked on her office door—walking in with a brown sack in his hand.

The night had grown late without her even noticing. That was until he walked in. Cal sat back in the same chair that he had occupied this morning with a sigh; his hand was outstretched as he placed the bag on her desk. “Thought you might need this.” He was watching her carefully as she leaned forward and grasped the bag cautiously.

She peered in to see a familiar plastic covering, and reached in to pull out a pudding cup.

Her gaze flittered up to his, her lips twitching into a smile as she opened the plastic covering.

“I’ve seen that look before.” Gill cautioned as she turned to pull a spoon out from her drawer.

“What look would that be exactly?” He joked, leaning back in the chair.

She shot him a look, and he just nodded in understanding. She pointed her spoon with pudding at him. “It’s not every day that you bring me pudding. I thought you hated this stuff.”  She gazed down at the brown blob on the spoon, eating it slowly.

Seeing a look of disgust flash across his expression, he looked up at her. “I do.”  A thought occurred and she put her pudding down on her desk to look in the bag.

“Two spoons.” Gill looked at him curiously. He scratched as his forehead and sat forward.

“Napkins.” She stopped for a moment, pulling out another pudding cup.

“Don’t ask me, Emily packed it. She probably thought you needed two of those things.” 

“Yeah…well I think your daughter has other ideas on that matter.” She smiled, scooting the pudding cup across her desk.