May I: The Beauty and the Tragedy

Cal sat there at his desk, leaning back with his eyes closed. He had thought numerous times, about getting in his car and scouting her down. He knew that Gillian had a GPS on her phone, and it was so tempting not to look it up and follow her.

He was her best friend, after all. And it killed him just to sit there, doing nothing. He had seen the signs, but had chosen to ignore it—for at least the first days after she had been attacked.

Slowly, he had watched her slip further and further into her work.  Pretty soon, they had stopped talking all together, unless it had something to do with the case load that they were working on.

What he missed most though, was her smile. 

When he had first walked into her office at the Pentagon, he was annoyed that he had been sent to another psychiatrist. He had looked at the card, over and over again; reading her name, Dr. Gillian Foster, until her name was on the tip of his tongue.

At the time she had been the Pentagon’s staff psychiatrist. Not only that, but he had heard that she was one of the best; he just thought they were all crazy. There was no way that he wanted to talk about his life and what had happened—especially with someone he didn’t even know.

Then when he walked into the room, his ways were forever changed. There was just something about her; the way her eyes sparkled and shined as bright as her smile.

“Dr. Lightman?” Heidi broke into his thoughts as she peered through the open door.

“Yeah.”

“There’s a woman outside in the lobby, looking for Dr. Foster. I know Dr. Foster isn’t in right now, and so the woman insists on you talking to her. ”

Cal leaned forward in his chair with a sigh. “Tell her. . . I’ll be right there.” As he stood up, he walked away from his desk, and then stopped in his tracks. He knew this was a bad idea and should call Foster, but he went out the door and down the hall instead.

There was Ava, sitting on one of the benches; her body was faced toward the window. With a further glance, he knew that the child sitting on her lap was Sophie.

“Ava.”

The woman turned around, looking worse than she had been the other day. “Dr. Lightman.” She swallowed hard. It was clear by the redness of her eyes, that she had been crying. “I’m sorry to bother you again, but I had to come.”

“That Sophie?”

Her voice was almost inaudible as she kissed her daughter lightly on the forehead. “Yes.” When she looked up, there were fresh tears in her eyes.“Look—I know you’re a busy man, so I’m not going to take long. I think Sophie can sense that something’s going on. I’ve tried to explain to her that mommy isn’t going to be here anymore, but she’s still so young. Almost two, you know?”

“Yeah, I do know a little about that.”

There was a sad sparkle in her eye, and Cal couldn’t help but feel a warning feeling. Ava did look like she was going to tip over at any moment. “Do you have any children, Dr. Lightman?”

“A daughter.”

“Then you know how I feel, about making sure that my daughter has a good and loving home.” She went on further, not pausing to take in a breath. “I took my daughter from her—Gillian—and I regret it every day. I love my daughter.”

“No one says you didn’t.” He could see that Ava was growing more and more panicked by the moment. “Maybe it would best if we stepped into my office.”

Ava shook her head fiercely. “No. If I move, I’ll probably wake Sophie up. She didn’t sleep most of the night, which explained why the two of us aren’t looking our best.” She joked, but he could see that she was hurting and was holding tightly to her daughter.

“Okay—so why did you come here?”

“I lied. When I told Gillian that I had three months to live—I lied.” Ava sobbed, trying to stifle it with a hand over her mouth, when Sophie began to stir. Despite praying that her daughter wouldn’t wake up, her eyes opened; filled with confusion and glazed over with sleep. Her little hand reached up and stroked her mother’s cheek, like she was telling her that it would be okay.

“It’s okay, bug.” Ava rocked her daughter back and forth. “Go back to sleep.” Her daughter’s eyes rolled back and forth, but the little girl shook her head in protest.

“No.” She spoke softly, and tried to sit up.

“You don’t have long, do you?”

Ava looked up abruptly, eyes wide. She looked like she wasn’t breathing much, her face had grown pale. “Take her.” was all she said before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and slumped against the window. Cal grabbed the little girl, and put her on the floor.

The little girl was startled, and even more so as she watched her mom grow silent. Her green eyes began to water, and she was whimpering. “Ava, stay with me!” Cal reached over and felt for a pulse.  Ria and Eli came around the corner at the sound of his shouting. “Call an ambulance—call them now!” Ria nodded, pulling out her cell phone. He turned back to Loker. “Help me lie her down.”

Stabilizing her head, they laid down on the floor. As soon as she had been laid down, was when Ava’s body began to shake violently. They carefully turned her to the side, and a crowd was growing out in the hall.

His anger was getting the better of him. “Get back to work!” Cal barked at the crowd, and slowly people drifted away. In the meantime, Ria was offering instruction from the 911 operator. He checked her breathing and her airway, tipping her head up.

Eli looked up, asking the unspoken question. “Who is she?”

“Her name is Ava.”

“I don’t understand why she’s here, unless she’s a client.” Eli offered, now kneeling on the floor; his hands continuing to hold her head steady. When he didn’t answer, he added. “And the kid?”

“Now’s not the time to ask questions.” Cal chided, standing from his place and taking over for him. “Go call Foster—and don’t give up until you get a hold of her. Text her, call her—but don’t you come back without her.” Eli stood, exchanging a quizzical look with Ria as he passed.   

“ETA is two minutes.” Ria chimed in; her eyes searching over his. Lightman was definitely covering for someone. But why was the question in general.

“Okay.” Eli offered, clearly confused at his request. “What exactly is it that you want me to tell her? Granted that she knows what’s really going on.”

“You tell her a friend needs her back. That’s what you tell her.”

----

Taking in a deep breath, the door closed. She was in a black tiled bathroom with white walls—lined with sinks and a rather large mirror above them. Taking in the silence, she walked over to one of the sinks and grasped it so tightly, that her knuckles turned white.

Letting out a sob, a stray tear ran down her cheek. It was everything: the divorce with Alec, losing Sophie, starting a business and moving out; that started it all. Now, it was the attack, Ava coming back, and Cal.

Before she had divorced, it had taken a toll—she had known that thing weren’t going well after Alec didn’t want to talk about losing their daughter. It had hurt both of them so much, thinking that they were going to be parents. When Ava returned and took Sophie, it was like a tornado hit. When Ava returned again a few days ago, it was like ripping off a band-aid off a deep wound.

The tears began to fall harder down her cheek, especially as an image of Sophie came back to her mind. It had been about a month after they had brought their daughter home from the hospital, and they had just gotten settled in. Alec had been late coming home from work and she hadn’t been feeling the greatest.

It had been her day off, so she had spent the day with Sophie and did a little laundry so that things weren’t piling up. She had lain down and had woken up later to cooing sounds from Sophie, who had been sleeping in her bassinet next to the bed. Her little fingers gripped around hers slightly and she smiled. Still, coming home to every day was the best thing ever.

Shaking her head from thought, the door to the bathroom  opened. Gillian wiped away her tears and was prepared to act like nothing happened, but she was taken back when she saw that it was Anna. She gave her a small smile.

“Hey. You okay?”

Gillian nodded, turning on the faucet and splashing some water on her face. Anna handed her a towel and she gave a small thanks before answering. “Yeah. Just have a lot on my mind.”

“I understand.” She bowed her head, and Gillian read the concerned inflection in her tone. But it was a different kind of concern; one that had presented itself recently. Something had happened between now and when had walked into the bathroom. “I hate to cut this short—”

“Anna?”

“When you left—you phone kept ringing, over and over again—so I answered. It was someone that you worked with. He said that they needed you back.” Resting her hand on Gillian’s shoulder, she noticed a glint in her eye—but it still didn’t convince her.“Gillian—“ That is until the way Anna said her name, made her stomach drop and her blood run cold. 

It took her a second to realize that it wasn’t about Anna’s husband or daughter. “This voice, did it sound young or with a English accent?”

“He said his name was Eli. He didn’t tell me a lot—just that they needed you back. That there was an incident at the office with a friend.” At that, she immediately thought of Cal or Ria, but she kept getting  Cal in her mind and that something had happened to him.