May I: On Camera

It had become quiet after the security guards had helped Reynolds handcuff Jacob and Misty and had taken them out of the building. It was likely that Jacob would be charged fully, and Misty on a lesser charge for helping them out, but they would most likely be serving some kind of sentence. 

Cal had returned to his office afterwards, while Ria had called Gillian. When she didn’t answer, Ria had typed a quick text to Gillian— to let her know that they had caught Brent Jackson’s killer.

But something nagged Ria about Gillian suddenly disappearing without a word. It wasn’t hard to realize that the person she considered her boss, was having a hard time after being attacked. It also wasn’t hard to miss that Lightman was also worrying about it. They all were, in their own way.

Five days ago, Gillian had been attacked after going home from one of victim’s associated with the Andrew Jenkins case. It had been a surprise to all of them when Andrew had mentioned a colleague and they all instantly knew without a doubt that it was Gillian.

Lightman and Reynolds had run out of the building and she wanted to follow, but both she and Eli had been instructed to stay put. It seemed like an eternity as both waited to hear any news; the extent of the damage, if she was okay, if they had caught the man responsible—so many questions had gone through her mind, just like now.

Since the attack, Gillian had been jumpy and had been spending more and time in her office. There were always deep bags underneath her eyes, which concluded her fears that she wasn’t sleeping. Whenever ask, she brushed it off like it was it was nothing—followed by an ‘I’m fine’, which was clearly a lie. 

Ria had already gotten used to breaking the rules and getting yelled at in true Lightman fashion, was nothing new. So when she got the thought to sneak into Gillian’s office to see what she could find out, she was just passing the lab when Eli came out with a file in hand and practically bumped into her. “Sorry.”

Eli gave his own apologies, and when he realized it was her, he added. “Whoa. Where’s the fire?”

“I was actually about to go down to the lounge.”

“You do know that the lounge is that way, don’t you?” Pointing in the opposite direction, she was trying hard not to take interest down the hall where Gillian’s office was.

“I do.” It became silent between them, and she figured that the conversation was over.

“Come here.” Eli gestured, making his way back into the lab.”I have something you might want to see.” Stretching out his words, he sat down at the computer and typed something in. A video feed of the office came up on the screen.

Ria looked around to make sure that Lightman wasn’t about to show up, then leaned her hand against the desk. “You brought me in here to look at video feed?”

“Not just any video feed.” The video began to play, revealing Gillian walking out of her office. She turned to the side, a glint in her eye.

“Go back.” She gestures with her hand, and Eli rewinds the video. Gillian walks out of her office again on the screen. “Pause it.” Pointing, Ria offered. “There. That’s extreme sadness—to the point of depression or PTSD.”

“You think Lightman knows this, that he would take half the day to go search for her?” She didn’t have to answer, because what she would have said was written all over her face.

“No, I think Lightman is lying.” She spoke a little too loudly and honestly. Eli seemed to be rubbing off on her, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. Walking over to the door, she peered out. The hall was empty, but she came back in and closed the door anyway.

“How exactly did you get that from—she’s taking a personal day—from the conversation with Lightman?” 

She sighed, rolling her eyes back over to the screen. “I don’t know. There’s just something about the words he used—that and the expression on his face when he said it.”

Eli leaned back in his chair. “So, why the sudden interest . . . in all this?” He gestured towards the screen that she was looking at with much curiosity.

Looking back at him, she had only been half-listening—then registered what he was asking. “It doesn’t worry you that Foster just disappeared without telling anyone?”

He raised his brow. “Of course it does—we all do, but Foster has made it plenty clear that she can take care of herself.”

Ria sighed again in defeat, running her fingers through her hair. “Yeah.” Deep inside, that’s exactly what she was afraid of. 

---

They had gotten finished eating, and Gillian offered her a short smile as she put her fork down on the plate. “Anna, thank you. I appreciate you letting me come down and talk to you.”

Anna smiled modestly. “Of course! Honestly, it felt like old times.” Her smile faded slightly, “I know that you’re going through kind of a rough patch right now. You did the right thing, coming to someone, and I’m glad that it was me. You’ve made a good start and I’m proud of you for being the strong woman, I know you are. But you can’t go around, acting as if everything is okay, when it’s not. No one can make you talk about what happened, Gillian—except for you.” Reaching her hand, Anna placed her hand on top of hers.

“I know that now.” Gillian gave her an appreciative glance and swiped away a loose strand of hair from her eye. “It’s going to take awhile to find some normalcy.” Taking interest in a piece of floorboard, she added with a far-away look in her eyes. “I can’t go home at night.”

Her tone was laced with concern and compassion. “Where do you sleep then?”

It took her a second to respond as their eyes met. “I sleep in my office—on my couch.”

Anna winced at her answer, but Gillian didn’t seem to notice. She was beginning to notice the extent of the turmoil Gillian was going through. “That can’t be comfortable.”

“It’s doable.”

“Any particular reason why you don’t want to go home?”

Gillian closed her eyes with a sigh, expressing that this was a subject she didn’t like to talk about very often. Besides, how do you tell your friend that you and your husband divorced because he had a drug habit, and now you’re all alone? But surprised herself by continuing anyway. “My ex-husband and I divorced about a year ago—“

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. We had been fighting for awhile. I began sleeping in my office, and it became kind of a comfort. Things were never the same after—” Gillian stopped herself from speaking. Her thoughts followed back to them giving Sophie back to Ava; then Gillian in tears, on the phone in her office, telling Alec that she was moving out.

“After who, Gillian?”

Her tone was laced with so much hurt; eyes burned with betrayal. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Ava, but she had hurt her, when she had decided to take her daughter away, and that brought up a new hurt, knowing that Ava wanted to give her back.“Sophie.” 

“She was your daughter.”

“Yeah.” Gillian licked at her lips, pressing them tightly together. Her stomach lurched forward and she took a sip of sprite, in hopes of calming it down.

Anna pressed a concerned glance in her direction; not missing the fact that Gillian had just paled to a degree. If she wasn’t staring at anyone—which she wasn’t—she would have sworn that Gillian had just seen a ghost. Instead, Gillian was looking into her drink, clear avoidance, a little panic and a whole lot sadness had just surfaced. It was quite troubling—although Anna would have been more concerned if Gillian hadn’t shown any emotion at all.

“Deep breath.” Reminding her, Anna offered her a gentle smile.

Gillian tried to take deep breathes, but her chest was beginning to hurt again. And her chest and stomach were clashing together like a boat on a sea in the middle of a huge rainstorm, which wasn’t helping her any.

“Can you excuse me for a minute?” She heard Anna give a small ‘sure as she was scooting her chair out hastily. She felt Anna’s eyes on her, but there was no time to explain. Walking across the room, she stopped the waitress, who pointed her in the direction of the bathroom.