I'm Still Here: All We Are

"From the day that I held you in my arms" He cupped his hands side by side as if he were cradling a small baby. "I had a feeling that you were going to be my last one, and I didn't want to bring myself to disappointment that…" He realized and felt ashamed of the words that were running through his head.

"That I was another girl." Her mouth twitched, "I was told that her last pregnancy was your last chance of having a boy." She filled him. He sat there, finally leaning back against his chair. "What I don't get is when did you realize you had four daughters?"

His eyes narrowed, "Megan." Exhaling, he placed his hands on the table. She wasn't making this easy for him, and he knew she wouldn't. And she had the right not to be making this any easier. "You have always been my daughter."

She scoffed, shaking head and looking out the window in containment in order not to walk out that door.You should didn't try very hard for me to be your daughter. "I lived half of my life in places you wouldn't have approved in, lost more sleep just to hunt down a suspect for a case, and have practically lived at my office for the past eight years." Raising her eyebrow, she felt the steam rising, "You had sixteen years to show me, why now?" The green fury in her eyes returned, except this time she couldn't help the glistening tears that danced in her eyes.

"Because I love you." Answering quietly, she shook her head again, the tears that were there were now gone. "I know you don't believe me right now, but I do."

Swallowing hard, she could feel herself holding onto the chair, "I don't. And you still haven't answered my question. Why now?" Raising her eyebrows dangerously; the corner of his lips faltered into a frown, eyebrows creasing as he interlocked his fingers together. There were conflicting emotions on the rise; sadness, anger, motive behind unsought feelings.

"Many times, emotions mirroring back. I overhear kids in the classroom before school starts to the halls talking about how unfair their parents are. Then I see a young girl, reminds me so much of you, except she's quite troubled, semi quiet and was repeatedly getting bad grades and I could only assume until I got a chance to talk to her that it could have been a wide variety of troubles in her life." He paused momentarily, "And there were. One in particular." Neither one had to ask what, "Her father had been pushing her and she felt trapped, didn't know what to do. She asked me if I considered running away a good option."

"What did you end up telling her?" Megan added softly, hinting that he had left that out. Although the bile in the back of her throat was still creeping up as she awaited his answer. Her head pounded and she continually wondered why she had agreed to come, when she could have sworn that she would have rather been consumed by the files that sat on her desk, or rather laying down on a flat soft surface with her eyes closed.

"I told her to think about what she was planning on doing. If she knew where she was going to go when she left, asked her if she knew what effect it took on somebody other than herself, even if she didn't think it would now because it does, and it did. Initially she was angered, thought about it, and asked me why I cared so much in the first place."

"A common reaction on her part." Megan noted, pushing her cup to the side.

"You must see this often." He assumed, continuing. "She was scared, so I let her know ahead of time that although I didn't understand what she was going through, I knew from experience that once you let go, the harder it is to get what you want back."

"Let me guess, she didn't quite take?" She asked in a softer, more understanding voice. He needed credit for trying, experiencing what he had missed in one way or the other.

"She didn't believe me, and could have cared less what I had to say. More or less, I think there was more but she wasn't willing to share, so I didn't push it."

Exhaling she encouraged, "Just keep working on her. A lot of people just need to know that you understand."

Her words left an impressionable mark, silence eluded as he opened his mouth than closed it again before finding the right words a few minutes later with a smile, the first of the day. "You're the expert." She sat up and let her back rest against the chair, her eyes resting on his watch. "I'll take your word for it."

"I see you still have the watch that Walter gave you." Megan pointed out. She had always liked Walter. He had been her favorite uncle and she hadn't seen him in years.

"Yeah, it's a good watch. I'm surprised you still remember."

"How could I forget? Walter gave you a rubber snake; everybody went around screaming after you pulled it out. That had to be one of the best days of my life."

He shook his head and laughed, "I'm glad that you liked it so much, because it almost gave your mother a heart attack."

They both fell silent, "About what I said earlier. I've been pretty hard on you the past few days." She admitted as he held up his hand.

"I wouldn't have expected any less. Like I said, I wasn't that easy on you either. I kept thinking about scenarios if you had been home and I think for the best, you made the right decision. You know you did well for yourself."

She offered, standing up. "I only did what I had to do."