I'm Still Here: Dreaming Out Loud

Running her hotel card for entrance to the room, she pushed down on the handle and entered. "Larry?" It was almost after twelve now. After the talk with her father she needed some time to collect her emotions before returning so she had driven a couple blocks to a park to where she had gone with her friends after school.

"Megan" Larry greeted with a smile as he rounded the corner. The lamp on the right was on, glowing softly upon the couch beside the place he had been occupying. At first glance she looked slightly ruffled. A smile curled on her lips indicated a partial weight that had been lifted off of her shoulders. He embraced her in a friendly hug, her tension slowly releasing as she pulled back from his hold. "I take it your meeting with your dad was quite contrary to what you assumed?"

Biting down on her lip softly she softly remarked with uncertainty laced in her tone, "He's apparently changed." Taking off her coat she put it over his on the chair, where it had been sitting before.

She looked away, turning back towards him resting her hand on the chair. "But you don't believe him?" Guessing, he closed the distance between them. Looking up, she nodded in a way that he understood—the way that said that she was still trying to come to terms with the man who was her father.

"There was always a time that I wanted him to be this way," Reminiscing, she shook her head at the emotions that were rising inside, but exhaled in relief that she could be herself around him. "He had a picture I gave him when I was six sitting on his desk, the same one that years ago, didn't mean a thing."

"I hate to say, but perhaps he had a sudden insight of perhaps what we don't know the whereabouts." He offered, interlacing her hand with his and showing her to the couch before taking a seat beside her.

"See that's what I don't get." She pointed out, furrowing her brows. "I have all these scenarios going through my mind where I try to understand his new philosophy of life and I come short."

"Well he did betray your level of trust." Larry cut in as he suggested and observed her slowly rest her hands in her lap.

"You're right he did." She put in thoughtfully, stifling a yawn to which he couldn't miss. The concern from earlier was definitely apparent in his expression as he sat up to examine her appearance, to which he concluded that it looked as if she had hardly gotten a wink of sleep.

"Hmm." He added caringly, observing. Her green eyes gazed at him with interest, eyebrows raising tentatively as she gentle smiled, tapping his forehead gently.

Honesty. Is what you need. It sets you free like someone to save you. Let it go. All right. Sit down and spill your heart. Let's start from the very start.

"Tell me what's going through this mind of yours?" She prodded gently, a small smile turning up on her lips.

She never slows down. She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down.

He looks up at her sincerely, the ways she loves. "It's hard to know where to stand. With you, I love how you can share with me what you're feeling. And I respect your privacy, but frankly it concerns what it's doing to you."

She won't turn around. The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down.

Megan exhales, scrubbing her hands over her face. "I guess I've gotten so use to all the years, keeping confidence with myself." Confessing, she walks over towards the window and looks out at the rain that falls to the ground and hits against the panes.

So stand in the rain. Stand your ground. Stand up when it's all crashing down. You stand through the pain. You won't drown. And one day, what's lost can be found. You stand in the rain.

"To which are untouched and you feel like are hardly understood." He takes a cautious step, sits on the edge of the bed.

She feels lost in her own life. Treading water just to keep from slipping under. And she wonders if she's where she's supposed to be. Tired of trying to do it right. Her dreams are just too far away to see how steps she's making might be taking her to who she'll be. And suddenly it isn't what it used to be. And after all this time it worked out just fine. And suddenly I am where I'm supposed to be. And after all the tears, I was supposed to be here.

Gazing out the window, she catches her own reflection, her own tired reflection from what she knows is from years of working constantly, to keep herself moving as much as she can, just as long as she doesn't have to look back.

She feels locked in her own life. Scared of what she might lose. If she moves away from who she was. And she's afraid of being free. There's a way she knows is right, and she can't feel the things she knows and so each step she's taking is a step of faith towards who she'll be.

The emotions inside tear at her. She wants to pull herself from the wall she that she has built around herself because somehow despite the circumstances she finds somebody who wants to listen.

And here where the night is darkest black, she feels the fear. And the light is farthest back. And through her tears she can see the dawn. It’s coming skies will clear. And the light will find her where she's always been.