I'm Still Here: All the Things She Said

Tearing a piece of toilet paper off the roll Megan wiped her mouth and hastily threw it into the bowl before flushing and placed her hand against the wall as a ledger. Her first thought was that although the lasagna was delicious-it was no longer in her stomach. And maybe she shouldn't have had that second piece.

Opening the door to the bathroom, feet shuffling as she walked to the mirror-and found she did not look as terrible as she felt at the moment. Refraining from pushing back the razzled look on her expression she let her body lean up against the porcelain sink as she ran her hands through the water. Picking up the soap Megan lathered it in her hands before letting it fall back in the holder with a thud before rinsing. Then letting her fingers curl against the rounded sink, the water ran through the silence as she stole another quick glance in the mirror, only to find this time that all of color had drained from her cheeks.

Cupping her hands underneath the running water and splashed water on her face. By the time she had dried her face on the towel, the color began to return. Emptying her stomach seemed to have helped the constant nausea that she had been feeling on and off during the past week and didn't seem to bother her anymore as she gathered- a few things here and there, while creating piles of sorts that would need to be packed in the morning.


Thankfully she hadn't brought very much, but living out of a hotel for the last week always brought scattered messes around. So first she gathered everything except from the sink area that she wouldn't be needing tomorrow-such as her hairbrush, hairdryer and pick. The minute she got home tomorrow she would take a long hot shower in the privacy of her own home. With that she began folding and organizing things here and there into her suitcase, with the constant thought of being back home. Next thought that crossed her mind was that it was late and she would have to leave the rest for tomorrow.


From the frame of the door, Charlie saw that Larry never shifted his eyes from the computer screen. His fingers never moved an inch and his Charlie studied his deamor-noticing from the expression on his friend's face that it was almost touching on a concerned gaze as continually stared at the screen.


With a rap of his knuckles on the door, Larry's head snapped in his direction, his brow heightening at the sound, his face softening at recognition. "Charles do come in." Larry beckoned softly in a comforting gesture.
Charlie stepped into the room. "I couldn't help but wonder if everything was good."


Larry pursed his lips in concern. "Your presumptions are mildly correct Charles." He paused but said nothing further as he sat with his back against the couch and read the content on the screen. His father's name, address, and phone number were staring him in the face.


Charlie furrowed his brow and stepped forward to see what had caught Larry's interest on the screen. His eyes scanned the page as he stood a few feet from Larry.


"That would be the current address, phone number and place of my father's wheeabouts." He answered the silent question as he sat forward on the couch, hand tucked underneath his chin.

Charlie peered at the screen again. From the corner of his eye it appeared as if his friend did not look so convinced for his own doing. "And your intentions for this visit?"

Larry stood tentatively as he clasped his hands together in thought. "I suppose it is for the fear of not knowing what could be or not at all."

"Yet you don't look so sure about all this." Charlie expounded on the subject of matter.

The corner Larry's lips quirked. "It is as if my life has moved in a circle and I'm just a complex mass of running wires that gives light and knowledge when connected."

Charlie looked up from his place on the couch. "That has also taken human form and has just chased after the woman of his dreams."

"Yet it is not my life that I worry about now." Running his fingers through hair, the lines in his forehead creased. "When I left home at such a young and vunerable age of my life I had this complete loss of being a mass failure. And when I entered into manhood and a relationship of great and everlasting joy, I fell away from all the loss and realized that I would put everything on the line."

"For the one you are willing to spend the rest of your life- no matter what the cost may be." Larry nodded, taking his place back on the couch. "A concern-I'm betting that has to do with the level of her well being." He nodded again, but resumed gazing at the computer screen, reverting back to silence between them.

"I wish I could understand what was going through her mind. All the possibilities and opportunities she has next in mind as she moves on to bigger and better things."

"Megan is thinking about quiting?" Larry shrugged as he took a piece of paper and wrote down his father's phone number and address. He really had no intent on calling his father first before visiting.

"It is a possibility. But there are always times in which I wish I could take all the pain including in that possibility."


Megan looked at the alarm clock to her left. The numbers blaring at her through the darkness and she figured being asleep for a solid hour before waking. Despite having throwing out her dinner, her stomach didn't seem to resist now, because the last thing she needed now was to be the sick person on the plane.


Her thoughts spun as she closed her eyes tightly to the possibility of backing down from resignation. Was it possible that there was something better for her out there? Her green eyes stared up at the ceiling. If she transferred it would most possibly mean she would be pulled out of Los Angeles. If she chose to stay she would be able to be in the boundaries of what had always been known.